The story of us will be ending soon

I am blessed more than I ever realized I was (despite the fact that I don't always feel that way).

I wasted so much time and energy loving someone who was never meant to be mine. Who is not worth the unconditional love I have to offer.

I’ve cried, yelled, mourned, bargained, begged… I’ve done everything that a woman who has loved deeply does when trying to save a lost love.

But now, it’s a new day.

I’d be lying if I were to pretend like everything is kosher.

The truth is I am a little worse for wear but I am okay.

I am moving on, even if I don’t want to--I’ve made the decision and that was something I had never honestly done before.

I waited all these months for something inside of me to change… a hope that something passively would occur in my heart…

But now I realize that is not how I will get over Menthol Man.
That is not how I will start to let go.

I have to make the decision.

Changing my phone number, email addresses—were the first step.

The next step will be to file divorce papers.

And then the rest will sort itself out.

I have learned a lot over these last five months about my body.

I have learned I get the best results when I force my body to do things that it doesn’t want to do.

And I think that’s how it will be with my heart.

I have to force myself to do things I never thought my heart would be capable of bearing.

I never thought I’d truly be able to file divorce papers but now I know I have no choice.

I know I have to cut off all communication despite how I don’t want to.

I have to give myself the time and space to let myself get to the other side of love…which is indifference.

To my real love, whoever you are, wherever you are, I am so sorry it’s taking me so long to let him go.

I was wrong about him.
I thought he was you.

I promise that someday I will be better.

Someday we will find each other…