I wake up to ashes before dawn...

I woke up right before dawn arrived--and I laid there seeped in sorrow.
See, my love, I had this dream you loved me again.
(Not this half love you feed me with now.)

I forgot what it felt like to be loved that way by you.

I let that feeling slip from my memory... I let it disappear so I could survive the loss of you.
I cannot put into words the deep sorrow that chased my blood when I woke.

I was not alone in bed.
You were there.
But I had never felt so alone before.

I died.
Again.

But now, there is a keening wail that is taking up in me.
It is a song of sorrow and loss...
And it's making me wonder, my love, if I'd rather be alone that live with the ashes of what use to be.

Our love is not a Phoenix.

It will not rise again from the dead.
No matter how hard I may pray for it to do so.